What Does It Mean to Lose a Student?

What does it mean to 
lose a student - 

to recoil in shock
to feel knotted scar tissue
(a perpetually healing organ)
re-open
once again.

what does it mean to 
lose a student - 

a name in your grade-book
a folder in your bookcase
a binder carefully put together
- "Saving for Prom: A Realistic Mathematical Budget"

So proud of you - 
after months of holding you 
to standards you fought against - 
you relented.
It was turned in late, somewhat smudged
but nevertheless
you did well.

 (I knew you could do it)
what does it mean to 
lose a student - 
sequins and teenage angst
I remember the tuxedo
that pride -
"I'm really feelin' myself tonight, Ms. Rez!"
with those locs parted
brilliant smile more luminous than moonlight
and mirror bright dancing shoes - 

What does it mean to
lose a student - 
to know that the heart 
that moved the blood
that moved the vessels
that pushed the muscle
to create that smile
no longer moves?

what does it mean to stand by 
and watch this happen
again 
and again
and again?

What does it mean to lose a student?

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